Oh hey Self Lovers! Guess what time it is?
How do we like that little song I created all by myself, haha! So here’s the deal. If you’re new to this show you are currently listening to Self Love in Seven, my 7 minute or less journey into quick Self Love tips, tricks and ideas that I think are important. If you don’t know who I am my name is Paul Fishman and I am a self love coach and you do you activist on a mission to empower and inspire YOU to know that Self Love is the key to living the life of your dreams.
Now, before we hit the timer on the episode, I want to have a real talk moment with you. I wasn’t always a self love preaching, high energy human. In fact, I was quite the opposite. I was sad, anxiety prone and depressed AF, honey. You see, before I loved myself I was kind of like one of those minions from Despicable Me. I was always trying to do things for other people, trying to get noticed. I wasn’t fully living for myself and it would always land me in some uncomfortable situations. In fact, at rock bottom I found myself overweight, in an emotionally abusive relationship and working a job that was slowly sucking the life out of me. I don’t know if you can relate to literally doing everything you’re supposed to but just feeling like there is still something missing. Oooooooh it is not a cute look.
Anyway, if any of this is giving you all the feels, like you’re thinking to yourself wow, this man totally gets me… well, that is confirmation that you are not alone and it’s also a great opportunity for me to invite you to join me inside Self Love in Seven my 7 week transformative program that will take you from people pleaser to confident AF in 7 weeks, guaranteed! Yes honey, there is a guarantee.
Over the course of 7 weeks, along with a fierce community, you and I will cover everything you need to break free of the shackles of expectation and negative self talk. There is a custom app, live dance parties and Q&A calls with me, and a course that you will receive LIFETIME ACCESS TO all for a low one time investment of $222 in YOURSELF HONEY! Now, please don’t sleep on this offer because the doors are closing TOMORROW and the program will never be offered at this low, low price that I am offering it at today again. Head to selfloveinseven.com to learn more and make sure to DM me on Instagram @paulfishman when you sign up.
Ok, so let’s hop into today’s episode! We’re chatting about two very different terms: Self Love and Self Care, why they are commonly confused and why it’s super important that you stop confusing them right now! Ok, start the timer because here we go!
Self Love in Seven: Self Love vs Self Care
Have you ever scrolled through social media and seen the hashtag Self love? I mean, it’s only been used a casual 36.4 million times on Instagram alone! Have you ever noticed the photos that are using this hashtag? There are photos of people at the gym, people with fancy hand bags, people posing in front of new cars and makeup selfies galore. Now, if you’ve listened to the show before you know that my definition of self love is the devotion to YOUR individuality so I’m not here to tell you what IS and ISN’T SELF LOVE. But what I can tell you is that when Self Love is used to define an act of consumerism or physical care, that is just plain, well, incorrect. I guess I am here to tell some of you that you’ve been using the words Self Love all wrong. Get ready for it.
Now, when I have a client work with me in my Self Love in Seven program I find one of two things normally present inside their internal conversations. They are either super eager to please everyone else OR super eager to be a major rebel and just run away from all responsibility, Both are very different but also extremely similar, You see, the act of Self Love is a rebellious one, but when handled the wrong way it can be extremely dangerous.
Let’s talk about the idea of Self Love and consumerism. Take me for example, when I was at the beginning of my Self Love journey I was working out like a mad man, restricting my food intake like crazy and practicing #selflove by going shopping for fancy clothes, shoes and bags on the daily. Yes, you heard that right, DAILY.
Now, here’s where it gets interesting, because I learned a while ago that when you do anything that involves the physical body it is not self love at all… it is actually self care. So, even though I thought I was on a self love journey I was actually knee deep in self destructive self care. Stick with me here. Can you relate to this story? You wake up feeling a little off and that feeling is super uncomfortable for you… so you decide to go to the spa or the mall or your favorite restaurant for a self love moment. You justify it by saying to yourself, “I’m not feeling 100% on my game today so I’m going to take a me day”. Can you relate?
Ok, let’s take this one step further. Can you pinpoint a time in your life where you decided to have a me moment and then after the, spa day, shopping spree, dinner and a movie or you name it, you just feel crummy again and even worse off than before? Well, my friend, that’s because you were making ONE MAJOR MISTAKE that so many people, including myself, make when on a treat yo self kick.
You confused Self Love for Self Care and in doing so completely lost the self love all together. Stick with me. Self Care is a physical act, so the spa days, shopping sprees, workouts and feel good moments are all self care. Anything that you do for or with your body? Self care.
Self Love is a mental state. It is a feeling of acceptance and of peace.
So why on earth are you running around telling yourself that you’ll feel better once you buy or do or get something when you have tried that over and over and over again?
Listen, it’s not all your fault. Media has conditioned a lot of us to believe that consumerism is the key to happiness, when in fact it is not. Take it from me, I have a closet full of beautiful shoes and it wasn’t until I finally started loving myself- in AND out of those shoes that I realized that they were not the key to my happiness.
So, here’s your assignment. When you fall into the trap of hashtagging your self care as self love remember this one thing. Self Love and Self Care are two very different things, but they cannot happen without the other. If you aren’t able to sit with gratitude and be present while you’re getting your nails done or while you’re out to eat at your favorite restaurant or while you’re working out… then you better check yo self before you wreck yoself because all you are doing is conditioning yourself to relying on external things to make you happy.
Want to learn how you can do this? Skip a few nights of eating out and invest in Self Love in Seven. You won’t regret it and you’ll be a whole lot happier for it.
Thanks so much for listening and I’ll see you next time!
Self Lovers! If you are ready to start practicing that self love while you self care moment head over to Instagram because I have partnered with some of my favorite brands for a massive self care giveaway. We’re giving away some of my favorite things like organic tea, a journal and some skin care to one lucky human! All you have to do is head to my Instagram and follow the giveaway prompts
Also, if you liked this episode please share it with a friend or people that you care about. Also don’t forget to rate and review the show and as always remember you are worth it, you deserve it and YOU ARE NOT ALONEEEEE!
Join the Self Love in Seven program and transform your life in 7 weeks, guaranteed! Visit selfloveinseven.com today! HURRY doors are closing TOMORROW.
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