I do not like cleaning: an essay

1.10.19


If you told me ten years ago that my future self would be writing a blog post about cleaning products, I’d have burrowed back into my trash heap of an apartment, laughing.

Let me paint a picture for you

I do not like cleaning. I’m definitely one of those people who appreciates a tidy space, but not if it involves me making it tidy. Picking up after myself is literally on my list of things I have to force myself to do.

Now, this post could also be about compromise within a relationship, because, well, my husband is the definition of a neat freak. Like, if you looked up “neat freak” in the dictionary, Richard’s face with his Mr Clean-esque bald head would be sparkling right back at you. God I love that man.

There are a few things that have stood in my way of wanting to clean outside of the fact that cleaning just doesn’t float my boat. Here is a list in no particular order of reasons why cleaning is not a cute look for me:

A list of reasons why cleaning is not a cute look on me

  1. I am super sensitive to most cleaning products
  2. Most artificial fragrance gives me a massive headache
    1. Think pine and lemon scented cleaners
    2. Candles with exotic scents
    3. What even is Tropical Paradise Fragrance?
  3. Cleaning was used as punishment when I was growing up. #triggered
  4. I don’t do artificial dyes in my foods so why would I do them in my cleaning products?
  5. Did I mention Phthalates?
  6. I am too busy to clean (kidding… sort of)

Oooooh, that list is basically giving me all types of PTSD to when I had no clue about artificial fragrance, colors and cleaning products. Enter, Branch Basics, a literal life saver that has restored my faith in the world. When BB first sent me their products I immediately handed them to Richard because… I don’t clean. But then I looked at their starter kit (use code PAUL15 for 15% off!) and thought it was something super cool and unique!

Basically you get one bottle of an all purpose cleaning concentrate and and a bunch of reusable bottles. One for glass cleaner, one for your bathroom, one for hand soap, laundry and even an all purpose moment. Each bottle tells you how much water and concentrate to add to it and voila you have a magical and safe way to clean all the things. Disclaimer: THIS STUFF REALLY WORKS. Oh and our little Hatchy man (our 10 month old mini goldendoodle) won’t be harmed by us using the products because they’re human and puppy safe!

I’m excited to be working with BB to drop some knowledge about why you need to introduce their products into your life and more importantly why you need to ditch the chemicals in your cleaning products.

Over the next few months I’m going to be sharing a lot of the products I use and I promise to take you along for the ride. This 34 year old doesn’t look this cute by smearing and inhaling toxic moments in and on his body. I’m all about that natural life… unless we’re talking natural flavors… but that’s for another post!

PS Did you know the word “natural” isn’t regulated by the FDA? Also the words “grass-fed” and “non gmo”! What does this mean for you? It means that you can’t believe everything that you read on a label… but don’t worry, I’ve got your back, boo!

Don’t get too excited Richard!

Ok, back to my newest best friend Branch Basics. I don’t know why, like I seriously have no clue, but I’m obsessed with using the All Purpose spray. Richard also came home to me cleaning our framed Exquisite Wedding Magazine feature and almost died.

A photo of Paul holding branch basics cleaning supplies
This is me, freaking out that cleaning is fun AND safe!

CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE THESE WORDS? I actually, kind of, maybe, sort of enjoy CLEANING! Richard, if you are reading this, don’t get too excited. Anyway, I want to urge you to consider ditching the toxic chemicals in exchange for Branch Basics! They’re offering all my #selflovewithPaul fam 15% off a starter kit with code PAUL15.


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This post is sponsored by Branch Basics – learn more about them here

As always, it is not a cute look to write things that are not my own opinion… and you know I am always cute.


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2 RESPONSES
  • Leslie COMMENTED ON

    This post just gave me the last little push I needed to finally try Branch Basics. Thank you, Paul! 🙂

    • Paul Fishman COMMENTED ON

      Leslie! I am so happy to hear this. Would love love love to know your thoughts once you try it out!

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